This song sends me into fits of giddy joy, I therefore dub it an honorary popcorn song.
David Stevenson wrote it. Jonathon Coulton is singing it in this version.
I’m told David Stevenson sings my favorite version and Jonathon Coulton wrote it.
Welcome to my secret lair on skullcrusher mountain
I hope that you’ve enjoyed your stay so far
I see you’ve met my assistant scarface
His appearance is quite disturbing
But I assure you he’s harmless enough
He’s a sweetheart… calls me master
And he has a way of finding pretty things
and bringing them to me
Oh, and i’m so into you
But, I’m way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I’m evil
I’m not surprised that you’d agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You see, the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn’t kill you, yet
(he’s got lots of other good songs on his website
you should check him out)
I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
I get the feeling that you don’t like it
what’s with all the screaming
you like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn’t it enough to know I ruined a pony
making a gift for you?
Picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine
While up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the atmosphere
And all the fools they live their foolish lives and they find it quite explosive
But it won’t mean half as much to me if I don’t have you here
You know it isn’t easy living here on Skullcrusher Mountain
So maybe you should cut me just a little slack
Would it kill you to be civil?
I’ve been patient, I’ve been gracious
And this mountain is covered with wolves
Hear them howling… my hungry children
Maybe you should stay and have another drink
And think about me and you