The heart of Saturday Night

Tom Waits rules.

I finally sent an email I shouldn’t have sent that was neither to a girl nor to fellow employees.

CPR Class was this morning. I’m now certified. Alan Arkin was my instructor, if he were from South Philly and an ex-cop. We went to lunch. It was like In-Laws, only Alan Arkin was the crazy one and I was running serpentine around CompUSA. Yes, we ate lunch at Taco Bell and then went to CompUSA. His idea. I mean, he was really nice. He paired me with the pretty young woman in class. I’m pretty sure he deliberately missed me demonstrating the Heimlich manuveur on her the first four times. It was impressive misdirection. But then, we were in CompUSA discussing electronics and how BestBuy beats the socks off CompUSA. He could spend all day in BestBuy. I said, sure, they put chairs in front of the big screens, for when you get tired. Now, I understand if he had to get something from CompUSA, but he just sorta shopped around. I wondered if maybe he got nicked on DWI and didn’t have a license, so wanted to try to sneak in a gift purchase. Guess he just didn’t want to sit in Taco Bell until it was time to run class again. I’m pretty sure he was divorced because he’d been leaving messages for his sixteen year-old daughter to call him. It was about as entertaining as PG-13 ‘civilian’ CPR could get. CPR for the ‘rescue professional’ is supposed to be where the ‘real fun’ begins. Strange they call it that when most people classified as ‘rescue professionals’ in the context of the class are volunteers.

Wednesday night Gilmore Girls was a rerun. I adjusted my schedule specifically to see it. Bastards showed a rerun. E, sorry about that call. I thought it would be cute. I have the sensibilities of a bad teenage romantic comedy, probably starring Patrick Dempsey.

Ensign, I take back anything negative I said about TiVo. I still don’t like the additional subscription fee w/ TiVo, but I will be getting the Comcast PVR tuner. Since I already pay them the average McDonald’s employee’s salary, what’s ten more bucks?

I haven’t done any goddam writing! I’m reading ‘Catcher in the Rye’. That goddam book holds the goddam record for the most ‘goddams’ in a single goddam work, right? Must be why it wasn’t required reading at the goddam Grapepickers’ High School. But don’t get me wrong, I liked my high school. And I got a D- in creative writing. That’s because I’m not good at writing on demand about a particular subject, like a room or a house or a goddam baseball mit with poems all over it.

So, I’ve had my nap and my workout. Time to shower, get drunk and sing into the heart of Saturday night.

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